Marriage: Beating the Average

As Hubby, Kids, and I were driving yesterday there was a radio program on that was dealing with the issue of divorce. It got me thinking about the average length of a marriage in the United States.

Yesterday was Hubby and my 9 year anniversary! What a beautiful, challenging, interesting, and awesome 9 years it has been! The good news: WE BEAT THE AVERAGE!

The average number of years for a marriage is 7-8 years. This saddens my heart.

In 9 years we have birthed 5 beautiful children (two live with Jesus in eternity), have moved our belongings 4 times, have had 6 great years in our home, and enjoyed countless days and nights enjoying and experiencing life together. How have we done it?

1. We never let the "D"-word (divorce) escape our lips. To us, it is not an option. There is only one choice and that is to work it out and stay together.

2. We talk, we listen; we fight, we make-up; we think of a solution to let this fight not over take us. There are going to be rocky times during a marriage (granted we have not dealt with some of the big issues like infidelity, addictions, or abuse) but we must keep a base for how a disagreement/fight/huge blow-up should go.

3. We don't allow the devil to get a foothold. Oh, that devil, he's a nasty one, isn't he! He has let resentment, anger, and bitterness stew in our relationship before. I've learned to recognize the signs of how the devil attacks our relationship. The best way to tell is if I can't describe how I feel in words or, more importantly, why I feel those feelings, I know it's the devil. We begin to pray against this, that the real issues will come out in a calm way, in a God glorifying way!

4. We keep God center! This is the most important! This can be a hard one, as we have 3 children to raise, Hubby works 50 hours per week, and the oodles of fun that should be had. We find time individually to pray and seek God's will, we remember to pray for one another, and we pray at meals. We attend church together, we talk about sermons, we listen to and discuss radio broadcasts about a wide variety of topics. We teach each other and learn from each other about our faith walk. We have deep discussions about our faith and how to continually keep God center in our marriage and family.

There are so many more ways to keep a marriage alive and well! These are just a few important ones we have found that need to be at the top of anyone's list!

Luckily, we also have great examples to follow! My parents have been married for 41 years, Hubby's parents for 37 years, My paternal grandparents for 68 years (this November), Hubby's maternal grandparents for 60 years {before his grandfather passed away}. Great examples from great people!

What things do you find helpful to keep at the top of the list for keeping your marriage going strong?